With the New Year coms the reflections on the previous year and resolutions for the next. As it is tradition I set resolutions every year and every year by Valentines day I have, like many people, given up or forgotten about the resolutions all together. It is easier to let things go and let yourself down than to let someone else down. For most of us we are our own worst critic, however we are also our most forgiving critic.
This year instead of making resolutions and giving up on them I have decided to set goals. I reflected on 2011 and after some tears, laughter, and a number of drinks, I had an idea of where I wanted to go from here. Somehow a part of me feels that if I share it with the world it will be easier to stay on track, we shall see.
This year, 2012, will be the year for greater growth, professionally and personally. Last year saw some ups and downs, but ended on a higher note with the publishing of my first book. With that done I now find myself sitting and hoping for things to pick up in the way of sales and downloads. I told myself early on I wouldn’t get upset or dissapointed if the book didn’t really move. I am remaining positive that things can take time and one day the world will get out and like a fire the books will spread. A piece of me, that worst critic piece, sits on my shoulder and tells me everything I did wrong.
First thing for 2012 is to ignore the critic in me more and celebrate the acomplishments more. This goes for my writting life, personal life, and my proffesional working life. The next thing for 2012 is to write more I have learned a lot just since Return of the Queen hit shelves in September. I will focus on what I have learned and the skills I have developed and become beter. Writing is something I love to do and I need to remember that. Spending less time thinking about what I should have done and more time doing.
In November I took a stab at NaNoWriMo. I ended the month at less than half way to the goal, yet I looked at what I had done and celebrated it. A new story had sprung forth from my mind and entered this world. I have at the same time though struggled to focus on this one single story. While writting UnderCity, my NaNo project, I came across another story that found its way into my conciousness, now yet another story is begining to brew. My mind is trying to watch four movies at once and all of them are interesting. I have had trouble focusing on a single story and get it done. This takes me to the big part of 2012, stick with it. Being a first time writter I have never had to deal with this before. It’s not like you tell someone about a dream then its done, stories are different they evolve. They are a persistent clawing at the mind grasping to be set free on the page for all to see it. I will continue work on UnderCity lending only brief moments to the other stories. Jotting down ideas and images that creep up from the depths.
When we think about personal growth many times we focus on just the New Year and the resolutions I say this is good as a foundation. Tell yourself however that “Today I will…”. There is no better time to begin than right now.
“I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I should be, but I am greatful that I am not what I used to be.” – John Wooden